As a 35-year-old mother to a three-year-old, wife and full-time employee, the last thing on my mind was breast cancer. I still remember that fateful day in November of 2008. I was sitting at home on the couch with my daughter on my lap. All of a sudden she threw herself against me with her head hitting my chest. I said, "Ouch" and proceeded to rub the area she had hit. That's when I found the lump. At first I tried not to jump to conclusions as to what I was feeling, but I am a logical person and I "just knew." Because it was November and Thanksgiving was approaching, followed by Christmas, and then my birthday in January, I decided to hold off making a doctor's appointment until February. But I was always very conscious of the lump.
After ultrasounds, a series of mammograms, MRI and a biopsy on Valentine’s Day, it was revealed that I had Stage 1 breast cancer. Within three weeks of my diagnosis I had a mastectomy.
I had never had major surgery before so I didn’t know what to expect. The first few days were much worse than I had envisioned. I couldn’t believe how much energy it took to take a shower or walk across a room. Three days after surgery we took a family trip to Target. I did not have the energy to walk all over the store and I ended up riding one of those scooters. It was a little embarrassing, yet necessary. Thanks to my husband there is a picture of me on that scooter so I won’t ever forget – “Thanks honey.” Also, how was I supposed to be a mom to an active three-year-old? I couldn’t pick up my daughter and hold her against me or play with her like I wanted, but it was amazing how quickly she learned to sit next to me and rest her head against my arm. She’d bring toys to me so we could play or a book so we could read. She frequently asked if my "owie" hurt. I’d smile and tell her, “Just a little.”
Two months after surgery came chemotherapy. I was very fortunate to have tolerated chemo without major issues. It was no fun losing my hair or eyebrows, but at least I didn't have to shave. I didn't enjoy the metallic taste or the sores I had in my mouth, but I enjoyed treating myself to Starbucks after an appointment. I think the worst part for me was how tired I would get. I worked full-time other than leaving for chemo appointments, but sometimes after I got home it was tough to get off the couch to play with my daughter or make supper. It was very frustrating because I was usually on the go and, being in my mid-thirties, these things shouldn't be an issue. It made me feel like a cancer patient. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the sunshine, and the last thing I was about to do was have a pity party. My positive attitude and stubbornness helped me power through because I knew that this would pass.
It's been a year-and-a-half since I finished chemo and my energy level is back up to par. Of course I have my hair again, which has been many colors and fun styles. I surprisingly have better skin with fewer blemishes, and I sweat less. Whoever knew you could give kudos to chemo? I also give kudos to my wonderful family and friends who’ve helped and supported me, and to great employers for all their help and understanding.
If it wasn't for cancer I wouldn't have found Join the Journey. Through this organization, I've met the most amazing group of women whom I now call friends. We are survivors, we are supporters, and we have a lot of fun together. Through Join the Journey I have walked for the cause, through JTJ Making Waves Dragon Boating I have raced for the cause, and I plan to continue to participate as much as I can even though I have moved out of the area.
Most days it is still very surreal to me that I had cancer. I went from being a healthy woman to a “cancer patient” with no hair, scars, and too many doctor visits to count. But I still have my smile and laughter. I still have family, friends and fun. I still love life. It’s ALL part of the journey and attitude is everything!
Today, March 7, 2010, as I sit and type, I just realized that it is my two-year anniversary since surgery. I am still a mother, wife and full-time employee, but I am also a survivor!
